just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
