4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
