If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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