I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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