community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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