just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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