I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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