Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
