I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
