Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize