I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
