i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
sarcasm needs its own font
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
