To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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