May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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