We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize