What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
