Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
sarcasm needs its own font
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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