I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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