For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
