Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
