Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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