So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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