I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.