I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize