So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"