I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision