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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  needless to say I left

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  SEEEEXXX PLEASE

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

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• (801): View more from Utah

  First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?

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