Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17400) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1099) Bad night (3849)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.

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  (580): And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities. http://tfl.nu/eu72
  Replies (10) Good night (2893) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

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  (707): Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god http://tfl.nu/bbiq
  Replies (9) Good night (1606) Bad night (1502)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop

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  (908): Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop http://tfl.nu/suxm
  Replies (12) Good night (2057) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.

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  (412): lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty. http://tfl.nu/zyd0
  Replies (6) Good night (1269) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.

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  (772): So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me. http://tfl.nu/5rwa
  Replies (12) Good night (3500) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"

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  (816): You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?" http://tfl.nu/o1ln
  Replies (10) Good night (1876) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.

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  (207): I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night. http://tfl.nu/1vni
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.

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  (416): I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses. http://tfl.nu/2j5j
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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  (425): She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around http://tfl.nu/v7uu
  Replies (5) Good night (827) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That one probably shouldn't have been in caps

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  (651): WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL (651): That one probably shouldn't have been in caps http://tfl.nu/u950
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm gonna eat you out. But for science

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  (423): I'm gonna eat you out. But for science http://tfl.nu/34e6
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You've created a tinder dominating monster.

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  (415): You've created a tinder dominating monster. http://tfl.nu/1rhe
  Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.

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  (512): I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol. http://tfl.nu/ap1u
  Replies (2) Good night (229) Bad night (496)

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