I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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