How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
