I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
