I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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