it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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