This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
