a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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