you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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