Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like the before picture.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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