Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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