just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
