I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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