I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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