Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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