1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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