I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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