so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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