Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
