I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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