I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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