Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Drake has all the answers
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
