Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
