upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
