Yo dont text me then not text me
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
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She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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