you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
