He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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