Sponge bath it is.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
