My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
