You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How does one acquire holy water?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.