I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't deserve a penis
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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