how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.