I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees