kristin has been a bad kristin
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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