she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
