worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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