Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
