Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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