THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
