Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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